Don't mistake me, miss Beau, it's-- they may be common, but it wasn't exactly easy to see. I just- had several years to get used to it.
[considering how long it took to find the pieces of him, and all-- and the whole time, the ones they had freed were so full of that resentment. nie mingjue didn't deserve that, and nie huaisang's careful expression slips a little, some of that hurt showing.
one hand lifts like he wants to reach out, but it hesitates, falls again. maybe he's not really sure he wants to know how she'd react after all that.]
[ ahhh, fuck, she really doesn't want to hurt his feelings, she just has - some reservations, is all. she's trying, and when she sees him reach, she reaches out herself and takes his hand. ]
Gimme a bit. [ she says, roughly. ] You had a few years to get used to it, and I've only had a few minutes. I'm sorry about him, Sang. I can't even imagine what it must be like.
It was more than just my brother. I've spent ten years on this, miss Beau. Unearthing all his crimes, finding ways to bring them all to light at the right moment. It's nothing like-- a sudden decision like that.
Look, maybe I'm not the biggest fan of the methods, but you're fucking uncovering secrets. Did I ever tell you that's my job at home? I'm an Expositor. That's what I do, I find corruption and I destroy it.
I don't have to like the dead body part to respect what you're doing.
[hm. okay, he already knew he liked beau, but he's looking at her with an entirely new sort of appreciation now-- because yeah, that's something he can respect, too. maybe it was a little secondary to him at the time, but they really do have similar goals, in that case.
then, with a faint smile-]
I might say I wouldn't have expected it of you, but I do have a feeling that's usually the point.
Yeah. Look, maybe when I told you playing dumb and defenseless works out it was because I have experience. Both of us can do unexpected shit really well.
[ she means to tell him her version, but - the chance is stolen from her. the memory hits like a truck, bright and angry.
it's a little like nie huaisang's memory, a blurry mix of timelines. nie huaisang finds himself suddenly and without warning being yanked out of his bed, dragged out by the hair by figures in blue cloaks, hooded and shadowed. but it's not him, it's beau, and she starts shouting, curses and threats and insults and hey! mom! MOM! as she's yanked down the staircase, and tossed into the main foyer.
a tall man in a suit looks down at her, expression tight, arms behind his back. she instantly realizes something is wrong. he's expecting it. he doesn't move, and beau picks herself up off the ground, fists clenched, and she starts to swing, but one of the cloaks grabs her by the arm and keeps her still, even though she shouts.
What the fuck! What are you doing? beau screams in his face, and the tall man, without warning, backhands her.
it doesn't hurt so much as it shocks her. she stares up at him, tears burning hot behind her eyes, and he says, We're sending you away. You have much to learn, and we can't hold your hand any longer, Beauregard. The Cobalt Soul will take it from here.
and as she's being dragged out of the house, there's another sharper, thudding memory that slams in - an austere, bald elven woman rearing back her fist and punching nie huaisang - beau - across the face, sending her to the floor.
nie huaisang is still a little stunned by the end of that, reaching up to rub idly at his face as if he still feels both those strikes-- and he's quiet for several moments, before he shakes his head. the first part- it feels wrong, to him, and that's hard to shake.]
-I suppose it's not the kind of path most end up on intentionally, is it. Miss Beau...
[he trails off there, though, not quite finding the words he's searching for.]
[like, fair, because he lowkey feels like he wants to fight the guy after that-- but that's probably not a surprising outlook on family from nie 'decade long revenge quest for my brother' huaisang.' you don't abandon your blood. you can't when you try.
another heavy exhale.]
I really can't imagine how I'd have done in your place.
I mean, I ran away at first. [ she says, with a huff. ] And then I ran into the Nein, and. I don't know, they were the best thing to ever happen to me.
[ her shoulders hunch up. it's - a very jin ling gesture, actually, which probably explains why they fight so much. ]
No. They - hah. [ she just smiles, and it's bitter. ] They sent me a letter, actually. Dear old mom had a son, while I was off in the Cobalt Soul. She kind of made it clear I'm not welcome back.
[oh, now that sounds a little indignant, brow furrowing as his expression shifts to a proper frown.]
Even if you wouldn't be an heir, that's still... I don't see any good reason for it at all.
[he can understand it when it's clear family politics, when it's a case of things that have to be done, but this just sounds more on the callous side than the 'unfortunate necessity' end.]
No, but it's whatever. I was a shitty teenager and I get why they did it. Just - maybe thought they wouldn't take the easy path. [ she rubs at her eyes a bit. ] It doesn't matter. I'm an Expositor and I did it on my fucking own.
[nie huaisang thinks he was kind of a shitty teenager, also, but- his brother managed, didn't he.
but he looks like he's thinking about something, before his head tilts slightly, curiously.]
Have you considered changing your family name, if you haven't already? It was sometimes done on being taken into a different Sect, at home... or just to distance oneself from the original name.
Take your own, then. If they mean to distance themselves from you, surely they won't have the face to complain when none of your accomplishments have any tie to them.
[fuck 'em, more or less. don't let them lay any claim to what they chose to give up.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ she stops herself. swallows hard. ] He's your brother and I don't know shit about your world or what's normal for it, so.
Fuck, dude. [ she honestly does not know what to say. maybe he's a little less useless than she thought. ]
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[considering how long it took to find the pieces of him, and all-- and the whole time, the ones they had freed were so full of that resentment. nie mingjue didn't deserve that, and nie huaisang's careful expression slips a little, some of that hurt showing.
one hand lifts like he wants to reach out, but it hesitates, falls again. maybe he's not really sure he wants to know how she'd react after all that.]
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Gimme a bit. [ she says, roughly. ] You had a few years to get used to it, and I've only had a few minutes. I'm sorry about him, Sang. I can't even imagine what it must be like.
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[so, you know, one more awful detail to go with the whole situation... he holds on to her hand, though, maintaining that contact.]
I know how this all must seem, but...
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It seems kind of batshit crazy, but honestly - if I didn't think different of you after you killed Stefano, why would I now?
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[a pause, a heavy sigh.]
It was more than just my brother. I've spent ten years on this, miss Beau. Unearthing all his crimes, finding ways to bring them all to light at the right moment. It's nothing like-- a sudden decision like that.
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Look, maybe I'm not the biggest fan of the methods, but you're fucking uncovering secrets. Did I ever tell you that's my job at home? I'm an Expositor. That's what I do, I find corruption and I destroy it.
I don't have to like the dead body part to respect what you're doing.
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[hm. okay, he already knew he liked beau, but he's looking at her with an entirely new sort of appreciation now-- because yeah, that's something he can respect, too. maybe it was a little secondary to him at the time, but they really do have similar goals, in that case.
then, with a faint smile-]
I might say I wouldn't have expected it of you, but I do have a feeling that's usually the point.
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Yeah. Look, maybe when I told you playing dumb and defenseless works out it was because I have experience. Both of us can do unexpected shit really well.
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[but that smile still widens, anyway.]
Perhaps that's why we've gotten along, though. Just how did you end up on that path?
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it's a little like nie huaisang's memory, a blurry mix of timelines. nie huaisang finds himself suddenly and without warning being yanked out of his bed, dragged out by the hair by figures in blue cloaks, hooded and shadowed. but it's not him, it's beau, and she starts shouting, curses and threats and insults and hey! mom! MOM! as she's yanked down the staircase, and tossed into the main foyer.
a tall man in a suit looks down at her, expression tight, arms behind his back. she instantly realizes something is wrong. he's expecting it. he doesn't move, and beau picks herself up off the ground, fists clenched, and she starts to swing, but one of the cloaks grabs her by the arm and keeps her still, even though she shouts.
What the fuck! What are you doing? beau screams in his face, and the tall man, without warning, backhands her.
it doesn't hurt so much as it shocks her. she stares up at him, tears burning hot behind her eyes, and he says, We're sending you away. You have much to learn, and we can't hold your hand any longer, Beauregard. The Cobalt Soul will take it from here.
and as she's being dragged out of the house, there's another sharper, thudding memory that slams in - an austere, bald elven woman rearing back her fist and punching nie huaisang - beau - across the face, sending her to the floor.
Are you listening, now?
Do I have a choice?
Let me be your teacher.
Boy, is that what I have to look forward to?
No. But what do you want to do now?
... I kind of want to fucking punch you back.
Then do it.
And the memory ends, abruptly. ]
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nie huaisang is still a little stunned by the end of that, reaching up to rub idly at his face as if he still feels both those strikes-- and he's quiet for several moments, before he shakes his head. the first part- it feels wrong, to him, and that's hard to shake.]
-I suppose it's not the kind of path most end up on intentionally, is it. Miss Beau...
[he trails off there, though, not quite finding the words he's searching for.]
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No, it's really fucking not. [ deep breath. ] I mean, there's your answer, I guess. Thanks, Blue.
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another heavy exhale.]
I really can't imagine how I'd have done in your place.
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[getting more personal, but... he's curious.]
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No. They - hah. [ she just smiles, and it's bitter. ] They sent me a letter, actually. Dear old mom had a son, while I was off in the Cobalt Soul. She kind of made it clear I'm not welcome back.
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[oh, now that sounds a little indignant, brow furrowing as his expression shifts to a proper frown.]
Even if you wouldn't be an heir, that's still... I don't see any good reason for it at all.
[he can understand it when it's clear family politics, when it's a case of things that have to be done, but this just sounds more on the callous side than the 'unfortunate necessity' end.]
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No, but it's whatever. I was a shitty teenager and I get why they did it. Just - maybe thought they wouldn't take the easy path. [ she rubs at her eyes a bit. ] It doesn't matter. I'm an Expositor and I did it on my fucking own.
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[nie huaisang thinks he was kind of a shitty teenager, also, but- his brother managed, didn't he.
but he looks like he's thinking about something, before his head tilts slightly, curiously.]
Have you considered changing your family name, if you haven't already? It was sometimes done on being taken into a different Sect, at home... or just to distance oneself from the original name.
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What? [ she clearly hasn't. ] No, I... haven't, I guess. I could do that. I usually just don't tell people my last name.
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[fuck 'em, more or less. don't let them lay any claim to what they chose to give up.]
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... Heh. [ fuck 'em is right. ] I like that. I bet my dad would lose his mind. I don't know what I'd change it to, though.
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[he says that so casually it's- kind of hard to tell how serious he is about it?]
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and then, just - gently teasing: ] That was the worst fuckin' marriage proposal I've ever heard.
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