[ the poor nies. beau shrugs mightily, and goes back to looking at his painting. her hair seems to be in pretty good shape - maybe a little mussed in places. ]
Ayabe practically noogied me earlier so maybe, but I still think it looks pretty good, right?
[his hard worrrrk! nie huaisang sighs, reaching up to touch one of those places where her hair is mussed--
and the touch initiates something. abruptly they're no longer in the drawing room, but somewhere else entirely, the streets of an ancient-looking city; the perspective is so low to the ground it could only be someone very small, and the figure holding huaisang's hand is bigger in comparison. he's fairly young too, but already with strong features; da-ge, his memory supplies. eldest brother. the wooden handle of a fan is clutched in his small hand, and he feels happy here, safe. even with father gone, this is all right. they'll both be all right, together.
it'd be easiest if it ended there, but beau's who he's closest to and also i'm not pingponging memories, so what she gets becomes something of an amalgamation. the scene shifts, perspective taller this time; he's on a training ground, an older and angrier nie mingjue in front of him, the smoldering remains of a fire in his line of sight, and he feels-- so angry. he can't hold it back anymore, he just can't. someone's calming hand is on him, but he can barely feel it any more than he feels himself shake with anger. "i'll burn them every time he brings them into the sect," his brother says, and that's what sparks his anger into a flame he can no longer restrain.
"then burn them!" he shouts, throwing his saber onto the ground. the person with him says something about his brother still being angry, but huaisang ignores him to continue. "saber, saber, saber! who the fuck wants to practice the damn thing?! so what if i want to be a good-for-nothing?! whoever that wants to can be the sect leader! i can't learn it means i can't learn it, and i don't like it means i don't like it! what's the use of forcing me?!"
he storms off, then, abandoning the saber behind him, ignoring them both once more. the anger is still flaring, and he can't-- he can't use that blade. he won't. he isn't going to suffer the same fate as all of the rest-- it's not the life he wants for himself. his brother is strong enough to run the sect for years, yet.
--except then there's another shift, and it's clear from how nie mingjue looks that not all that much time has passed, actually. there's an overwhelming, suffocating sense of desperation; huaisang's arm hurts, his leg is so injured he's dragging it behind him, but his brother is ahead and he has to reach him. nie mingjue looks utterly lost to something, bleeding from the eyes, the nose, the ears, the mouth, unseeing and uncaring as he attacks anyone he can reach. huaisang's throat hurts, and he only dimly realizes it's because of how much he's been screaming for his brother. look at me. look at me, please. look at ME. i don't understand, it's too soon, you're so strong, why why WHY--
another scream of "brother!!" and nie mingjue finally turns to him. he finally sees nie huaisang, clarity back in his eyes, and huaisang could cry. "brother! brother! it's me, put down your saber, it's me-!!"
before he gets any further, nie mingjue falls to the ground, and the resulting anguish is too much for nie huaisang to bear.
a final shift.
this time, the nie mingjue before him is long dead, his skin discolored, his limbs sewn on with a strange type of thread. there's a thrum of energy within that body, something angry, sick, full of resentment, a long-held grudge made manifest. nie huaisang fights to keep his vision from blurring as he carefully, carefully reattaches his head, stitch by neat little stitch, his hands unwavering. his resolve is steady. everything-- everything has come to this, ever since his brother's death from the qi deviation that was forced upon him.
soon. it'll all be over soon. we'll see him dead for what he's done to you, what he's done to both of us, to everyone. they all know who he really is, now.
we'll take our revenge on him, da-ge, and he'll never see it coming.
there's a saying, he thinks. 'the mantis stalks the cicada, unaware of the oriole behind.'
the man who murdered nie huaisang's brother has been sorely mistaken about which of those creatures he is.]
okay. just. beau needs to sit down? so she does. immediately. she sits down like right where she's at, on the floor, trying to sort through all of it. she feels like she's lived four lives in the span of two minutes, and it's incredibly disorienting.
after a moment, she glances at nie huaisang, expression just - overwhelmed. ]
[she looks overwhelmed, and he looks-- well. he still looks shocked when she glances over, but he quickly schools his expression back into something more neutral. guarded. the easy shift really is something, honestly.
he felt all of it too, though, lived it a second time, and he's just as shaken, especially at the realization that someone knows. at least it's her, he can be thankful for that, but it's still just-- so much for anyone else to be aware of, after he kept himself so carefully hidden for the last decade.]
[okay, he does have to explain some of that. it's-- hard, to force himself to speak after staying silent for so long, but... she knows. she already knows. he needs to at least clarify this.]
I'm not a demonic cultivator at all. My brother's body was supposed to be contained, but the man who killed him... he stole it and separated him to make sure he couldn't ever be freed. Attached the pieces to other bodies to keep them stable. [his hands tense, slightly, but do not clench.] ...I only found his arm, on my own, but it was too strong for me to contain alone. I made sure others found the rest of him, people who were capable of suppressing him. Once all the pieces were together, though, he could... pursue that grudge on his own.
beau is well accustomed to violence and dead bodies, but there's something about the image of a hand being sewn back on that sticks in her head. the image of someone peaceful, someone tearing himself up out of the dirt to kill, nothing behind his eyes - but that's not huaisang's brother. that's someone else.
beau closes her eyes and takes a deep, deep breath. ]
I will - never get used to your world just being fine with bodies standing up and taking revenge. Not ever.
Don't mistake me, miss Beau, it's-- they may be common, but it wasn't exactly easy to see. I just- had several years to get used to it.
[considering how long it took to find the pieces of him, and all-- and the whole time, the ones they had freed were so full of that resentment. nie mingjue didn't deserve that, and nie huaisang's careful expression slips a little, some of that hurt showing.
one hand lifts like he wants to reach out, but it hesitates, falls again. maybe he's not really sure he wants to know how she'd react after all that.]
[ ahhh, fuck, she really doesn't want to hurt his feelings, she just has - some reservations, is all. she's trying, and when she sees him reach, she reaches out herself and takes his hand. ]
Gimme a bit. [ she says, roughly. ] You had a few years to get used to it, and I've only had a few minutes. I'm sorry about him, Sang. I can't even imagine what it must be like.
It was more than just my brother. I've spent ten years on this, miss Beau. Unearthing all his crimes, finding ways to bring them all to light at the right moment. It's nothing like-- a sudden decision like that.
Look, maybe I'm not the biggest fan of the methods, but you're fucking uncovering secrets. Did I ever tell you that's my job at home? I'm an Expositor. That's what I do, I find corruption and I destroy it.
I don't have to like the dead body part to respect what you're doing.
[hm. okay, he already knew he liked beau, but he's looking at her with an entirely new sort of appreciation now-- because yeah, that's something he can respect, too. maybe it was a little secondary to him at the time, but they really do have similar goals, in that case.
then, with a faint smile-]
I might say I wouldn't have expected it of you, but I do have a feeling that's usually the point.
Yeah. Look, maybe when I told you playing dumb and defenseless works out it was because I have experience. Both of us can do unexpected shit really well.
[ she means to tell him her version, but - the chance is stolen from her. the memory hits like a truck, bright and angry.
it's a little like nie huaisang's memory, a blurry mix of timelines. nie huaisang finds himself suddenly and without warning being yanked out of his bed, dragged out by the hair by figures in blue cloaks, hooded and shadowed. but it's not him, it's beau, and she starts shouting, curses and threats and insults and hey! mom! MOM! as she's yanked down the staircase, and tossed into the main foyer.
a tall man in a suit looks down at her, expression tight, arms behind his back. she instantly realizes something is wrong. he's expecting it. he doesn't move, and beau picks herself up off the ground, fists clenched, and she starts to swing, but one of the cloaks grabs her by the arm and keeps her still, even though she shouts.
What the fuck! What are you doing? beau screams in his face, and the tall man, without warning, backhands her.
it doesn't hurt so much as it shocks her. she stares up at him, tears burning hot behind her eyes, and he says, We're sending you away. You have much to learn, and we can't hold your hand any longer, Beauregard. The Cobalt Soul will take it from here.
and as she's being dragged out of the house, there's another sharper, thudding memory that slams in - an austere, bald elven woman rearing back her fist and punching nie huaisang - beau - across the face, sending her to the floor.
nie huaisang is still a little stunned by the end of that, reaching up to rub idly at his face as if he still feels both those strikes-- and he's quiet for several moments, before he shakes his head. the first part- it feels wrong, to him, and that's hard to shake.]
-I suppose it's not the kind of path most end up on intentionally, is it. Miss Beau...
[he trails off there, though, not quite finding the words he's searching for.]
[like, fair, because he lowkey feels like he wants to fight the guy after that-- but that's probably not a surprising outlook on family from nie 'decade long revenge quest for my brother' huaisang.' you don't abandon your blood. you can't when you try.
another heavy exhale.]
I really can't imagine how I'd have done in your place.
I mean, I ran away at first. [ she says, with a huff. ] And then I ran into the Nein, and. I don't know, they were the best thing to ever happen to me.
[ her shoulders hunch up. it's - a very jin ling gesture, actually, which probably explains why they fight so much. ]
No. They - hah. [ she just smiles, and it's bitter. ] They sent me a letter, actually. Dear old mom had a son, while I was off in the Cobalt Soul. She kind of made it clear I'm not welcome back.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Ayabe practically noogied me earlier so maybe, but I still think it looks pretty good, right?
no subject
[his hard worrrrk! nie huaisang sighs, reaching up to touch one of those places where her hair is mussed--
and the touch initiates something. abruptly they're no longer in the drawing room, but somewhere else entirely, the streets of an ancient-looking city; the perspective is so low to the ground it could only be someone very small, and the figure holding huaisang's hand is bigger in comparison. he's fairly young too, but already with strong features; da-ge, his memory supplies. eldest brother. the wooden handle of a fan is clutched in his small hand, and he feels happy here, safe. even with father gone, this is all right. they'll both be all right, together.
it'd be easiest if it ended there, but beau's who he's closest to and also i'm not pingponging memories, so what she gets becomes something of an amalgamation. the scene shifts, perspective taller this time; he's on a training ground, an older and angrier nie mingjue in front of him, the smoldering remains of a fire in his line of sight, and he feels-- so angry. he can't hold it back anymore, he just can't. someone's calming hand is on him, but he can barely feel it any more than he feels himself shake with anger. "i'll burn them every time he brings them into the sect," his brother says, and that's what sparks his anger into a flame he can no longer restrain.
"then burn them!" he shouts, throwing his saber onto the ground. the person with him says something about his brother still being angry, but huaisang ignores him to continue. "saber, saber, saber! who the fuck wants to practice the damn thing?! so what if i want to be a good-for-nothing?! whoever that wants to can be the sect leader! i can't learn it means i can't learn it, and i don't like it means i don't like it! what's the use of forcing me?!"
he storms off, then, abandoning the saber behind him, ignoring them both once more. the anger is still flaring, and he can't-- he can't use that blade. he won't. he isn't going to suffer the same fate as all of the rest-- it's not the life he wants for himself. his brother is strong enough to run the sect for years, yet.
--except then there's another shift, and it's clear from how nie mingjue looks that not all that much time has passed, actually. there's an overwhelming, suffocating sense of desperation; huaisang's arm hurts, his leg is so injured he's dragging it behind him, but his brother is ahead and he has to reach him. nie mingjue looks utterly lost to something, bleeding from the eyes, the nose, the ears, the mouth, unseeing and uncaring as he attacks anyone he can reach. huaisang's throat hurts, and he only dimly realizes it's because of how much he's been screaming for his brother. look at me. look at me, please. look at ME. i don't understand, it's too soon, you're so strong, why why WHY--
another scream of "brother!!" and nie mingjue finally turns to him. he finally sees nie huaisang, clarity back in his eyes, and huaisang could cry. "brother! brother! it's me, put down your saber, it's me-!!"
before he gets any further, nie mingjue falls to the ground, and the resulting anguish is too much for nie huaisang to bear.
a final shift.
this time, the nie mingjue before him is long dead, his skin discolored, his limbs sewn on with a strange type of thread. there's a thrum of energy within that body, something angry, sick, full of resentment, a long-held grudge made manifest. nie huaisang fights to keep his vision from blurring as he carefully, carefully reattaches his head, stitch by neat little stitch, his hands unwavering. his resolve is steady. everything-- everything has come to this, ever since his brother's death from the qi deviation that was forced upon him.
soon. it'll all be over soon. we'll see him dead for what he's done to you, what he's done to both of us, to everyone. they all know who he really is, now.
we'll take our revenge on him, da-ge, and he'll never see it coming.
there's a saying, he thinks. 'the mantis stalks the cicada, unaware of the oriole behind.'
the man who murdered nie huaisang's brother has been sorely mistaken about which of those creatures he is.]
no subject
okay. just. beau needs to sit down? so she does. immediately. she sits down like right where she's at, on the floor, trying to sort through all of it. she feels like she's lived four lives in the span of two minutes, and it's incredibly disorienting.
after a moment, she glances at nie huaisang, expression just - overwhelmed. ]
Holy shit, dude.
no subject
[she looks overwhelmed, and he looks-- well. he still looks shocked when she glances over, but he quickly schools his expression back into something more neutral. guarded. the easy shift really is something, honestly.
he felt all of it too, though, lived it a second time, and he's just as shaken, especially at the realization that someone knows. at least it's her, he can be thankful for that, but it's still just-- so much for anyone else to be aware of, after he kept himself so carefully hidden for the last decade.]
I... can explain-
no subject
[ she is maybe, just a little, afraid of nie huaisang. ]
You reanimated your dead brother to get revenge, that's pretty straightforward.
no subject
[okay, he does have to explain some of that. it's-- hard, to force himself to speak after staying silent for so long, but... she knows. she already knows. he needs to at least clarify this.]
I'm not a demonic cultivator at all. My brother's body was supposed to be contained, but the man who killed him... he stole it and separated him to make sure he couldn't ever be freed. Attached the pieces to other bodies to keep them stable. [his hands tense, slightly, but do not clench.] ...I only found his arm, on my own, but it was too strong for me to contain alone. I made sure others found the rest of him, people who were capable of suppressing him. Once all the pieces were together, though, he could... pursue that grudge on his own.
no subject
beau is well accustomed to violence and dead bodies, but there's something about the image of a hand being sewn back on that sticks in her head. the image of someone peaceful, someone tearing himself up out of the dirt to kill, nothing behind his eyes - but that's not huaisang's brother. that's someone else.
beau closes her eyes and takes a deep, deep breath. ]
I will - never get used to your world just being fine with bodies standing up and taking revenge. Not ever.
no subject
[...he glances aside, there.]
That was one way of giving him peace.
[nie huaisang doesn't know yet how it will all turn out, but- he hopes his brother can kill jin guangyao himself, he really does.]
no subject
[ she stops herself. swallows hard. ] He's your brother and I don't know shit about your world or what's normal for it, so.
Fuck, dude. [ she honestly does not know what to say. maybe he's a little less useless than she thought. ]
no subject
[considering how long it took to find the pieces of him, and all-- and the whole time, the ones they had freed were so full of that resentment. nie mingjue didn't deserve that, and nie huaisang's careful expression slips a little, some of that hurt showing.
one hand lifts like he wants to reach out, but it hesitates, falls again. maybe he's not really sure he wants to know how she'd react after all that.]
no subject
Gimme a bit. [ she says, roughly. ] You had a few years to get used to it, and I've only had a few minutes. I'm sorry about him, Sang. I can't even imagine what it must be like.
no subject
[so, you know, one more awful detail to go with the whole situation... he holds on to her hand, though, maintaining that contact.]
I know how this all must seem, but...
no subject
It seems kind of batshit crazy, but honestly - if I didn't think different of you after you killed Stefano, why would I now?
no subject
[a pause, a heavy sigh.]
It was more than just my brother. I've spent ten years on this, miss Beau. Unearthing all his crimes, finding ways to bring them all to light at the right moment. It's nothing like-- a sudden decision like that.
no subject
Look, maybe I'm not the biggest fan of the methods, but you're fucking uncovering secrets. Did I ever tell you that's my job at home? I'm an Expositor. That's what I do, I find corruption and I destroy it.
I don't have to like the dead body part to respect what you're doing.
no subject
[hm. okay, he already knew he liked beau, but he's looking at her with an entirely new sort of appreciation now-- because yeah, that's something he can respect, too. maybe it was a little secondary to him at the time, but they really do have similar goals, in that case.
then, with a faint smile-]
I might say I wouldn't have expected it of you, but I do have a feeling that's usually the point.
no subject
Yeah. Look, maybe when I told you playing dumb and defenseless works out it was because I have experience. Both of us can do unexpected shit really well.
no subject
[but that smile still widens, anyway.]
Perhaps that's why we've gotten along, though. Just how did you end up on that path?
no subject
it's a little like nie huaisang's memory, a blurry mix of timelines. nie huaisang finds himself suddenly and without warning being yanked out of his bed, dragged out by the hair by figures in blue cloaks, hooded and shadowed. but it's not him, it's beau, and she starts shouting, curses and threats and insults and hey! mom! MOM! as she's yanked down the staircase, and tossed into the main foyer.
a tall man in a suit looks down at her, expression tight, arms behind his back. she instantly realizes something is wrong. he's expecting it. he doesn't move, and beau picks herself up off the ground, fists clenched, and she starts to swing, but one of the cloaks grabs her by the arm and keeps her still, even though she shouts.
What the fuck! What are you doing? beau screams in his face, and the tall man, without warning, backhands her.
it doesn't hurt so much as it shocks her. she stares up at him, tears burning hot behind her eyes, and he says, We're sending you away. You have much to learn, and we can't hold your hand any longer, Beauregard. The Cobalt Soul will take it from here.
and as she's being dragged out of the house, there's another sharper, thudding memory that slams in - an austere, bald elven woman rearing back her fist and punching nie huaisang - beau - across the face, sending her to the floor.
Are you listening, now?
Do I have a choice?
Let me be your teacher.
Boy, is that what I have to look forward to?
No. But what do you want to do now?
... I kind of want to fucking punch you back.
Then do it.
And the memory ends, abruptly. ]
no subject
nie huaisang is still a little stunned by the end of that, reaching up to rub idly at his face as if he still feels both those strikes-- and he's quiet for several moments, before he shakes his head. the first part- it feels wrong, to him, and that's hard to shake.]
-I suppose it's not the kind of path most end up on intentionally, is it. Miss Beau...
[he trails off there, though, not quite finding the words he's searching for.]
no subject
No, it's really fucking not. [ deep breath. ] I mean, there's your answer, I guess. Thanks, Blue.
no subject
another heavy exhale.]
I really can't imagine how I'd have done in your place.
no subject
no subject
[getting more personal, but... he's curious.]
no subject
No. They - hah. [ she just smiles, and it's bitter. ] They sent me a letter, actually. Dear old mom had a son, while I was off in the Cobalt Soul. She kind of made it clear I'm not welcome back.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)